Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Desi Odyssey - KFC Fiery Tongue Sticky Situation

It was not long ago, when I had to go to the far South India for attending an event. I was with a lecturer of my college and a friend of him. Being a jovial person, I didn’t find it difficult to blend with both of them and by the time we boarded the Rajdhani Express from the New Delhi Station, it seemed as if I am with my own friends. But as the journey started, the problems began to show up. 


Our seats were in different compartment and I had a passage seat. So, all 3 of us sat on my seat and I sat cross legged for exactly 6 hours and 15 minutes. I can never forget the timing. I tried to go to the other seat for relaxing but my sir said “No. Sit with us. Lets have a talk about this and why do you even want to go other seat? Are you getting bored??” now what could I have replied for that. So, I kept sitting and hearing them.

Luckily the night fell and we had our dinner and both of my companions went to sleep. The next day again brought the drudgery of sitting cross legged for many hours and finally, when we reached Vijaywada, I heaved a sigh of relief.


There, we were in a totally different world. Not only the appearance of the crowd of different, but the language they spoke, made us feel like aliens. But, at first, it seemed very adventurous.


As soon as we carried our luggage to the exit and tried to board an auto, we realized the kind of situation we were in. The auto driver asked us something I don’t know till date and we stood dumbfounded. Both of my companions were standing there silently, exchanging looks and I was thinking of what to do. Finally, I asked him only one word “Bus Stand?” and he said “40”. He loaded the auto and drove us to the bus stand.


There again, they were walking absentmindedly as if I was the one entrusted with the job of taking them to the venue, though it should have been the other way round. I asked my lecturer “Now?” and he said we take a bus. And they looked here and there and ranted about the difficulty we were facing, and actually, not trying to do anything. Then, I thought that I have to come forward and take the matter in my hands. I moved over to the enquiry counter and asked the lady regarding the buses and she told me the platform number where I can find the buses. I thanked her and moved to the platform.


Well, we reached the venue and finally attended the event for two days and then went shopping for our friends and family. I was contemplating over the sweet memories I had made on my way back to Vijaywada, when in the bus, my companion’s phone rang and we got the disastrous news that the ticket of not even a single person was confirmed.


The moment I listened it, it appeared as if the whole world, the earth, the rickety bus we were travelling in, everything had come to a halt. I was so far from my home, with no train ticket and with two companions who didn’t even know from where to ask regarding the bus even, what to talk of handling this situation.


I was trying to find some solution for this problem, when I saw that both of them were sleeping in their seats as if nothing has happened and it was only I who was in problem. I am not much of a praying soul but I said a prayer to God silently and anyhow passed the journey to the station.


As we reached the station, we took a general ticket and thought that we will pay the fine for that after sitting in the train. The train reached and we entered the first AC compartment we found. Everybody was sleeping as the time was 2.00 am and we tried to find a vacant seat to at least sit. We luckily got a birth above the passage seat and another one nearby. One of my companions went to sleep on one seat and I and my lecturer sat on the other. 


Finally, the TT came and I asked my lecturer to go and talk to him if he can help us out. He walked off with a great difficulty and talked to him. TT was shrewd. He didn’t give him any satisfactory reply and sent him back. He again tried to negotiate with him but all in vain.


Then, I thought that this is so not going to work and finally, I went to talk to TT. He didn’t even want to listen to me. He was moving from this seat to that, form one compartment to other, and I was ranting about my situation and he was constantly ignoring me.


I then realized the missing ingredient of the concoction and asked “I need a birth. What do you need?” and he grinned. I cursed him in my heart and repeated my question. He walked towards his own seat and finally sat down and tried to find something in the ticketing charts. He said 1000 bucks for a seat and that too would be available from Bhopal only which was about 10 to 12 hours away.


I was shocked at the shrewdness of that mongrel and amazed the way he said this in a matter of factly tone.  I tried to negotiate with him but all in vain. The biggest barrier was the language. He spoke very less English and I didn’t know Telugu. So, I was stuck. But I knew that once missed, this opportunity would never come again. 
So, I told him to wait while I go and bring the money.


While I was going back, I thought that I am not going to let him enjoy my money so easily. Then, an idea struck my mind. I went back and paid him 500 bucks, and said that I will pay him the remainder at New Delhi station as this is the only money I was left with. He refused to take it and said that who will know if I get away without paying him. I tried to convince him a lot and finally said “Ok sir, you give me the ticket and the birth, for my companions only and I will sit with you only, all the time and then I will descend the train at Delhi with you only and give you the remainder. 


Meanwhile, if you still don’t trust me, keep my wallet with all my IDs and ATM cards.” He was left with a dilemma, but my offer seemed genuine and he agreed to it. Finally, I got a birth on which I stationed my two companions and told them that I have a seat in other compartment and we will meet at Delhi station, and went to sit with the TT.


He didn’t talk to me at first and gave me sideways glances every now and then. But I kept on trying to indulge him into a conversation and finally, as the journey advanced, we had a lively colloquy set in. I gave me another advantage. The best food in the pantry was served to him and being with him, I also got it. Owing to the checking of the tickets at various stations, he wasn’t able to sleep. So, took the advantage again and asked him to go to sleep if he wanted and I will wake him up after every stoppage, so that he can check the tickets. Till that time, he had developed some faith in me and went to sleep. I woke him up whenever necessary and by the time we reached Delhi, we had made friends.


The train reached New Delhi station at 6.00 am and he looked at me with brightened eyes as now he was going to get the remainder amount. He said “everything else is fine, but I think that you have not forgotten you promise” to which I replied “No No sir. How could I? don’t worry I have called my friend and he is standing there on the platform near the display showing B1 bogie number ready with the money. Let me just give him a miss call.” And I called a number and had a little talk regarding my bogie number and some other stuff. He got assured and as the train halted, I made him descend the train first, so that he doesn’t think that I am going to run away. We both descended and found my friend. As he was about to take the money, two persons appeared from nowhere and grasped the hands of that TT. That was vigilance department team. I had called my friend from the train and told him about the situation, and to be there ready with the vigilance team. As a proof I had sent him the voice recording and the photos of me giving the TT 500 bucks. At the station, the vigilance team caught him red handed and I gave them another voice recording of him asking for the money.


The vigilance team charged me also with the fine of 200 bucks for travelling with a general ticket in an AC compartment and returned me all other amount. We left the TT to their disposal and walked off the station with my companions.


While we were descending the staircase, my companions asked me how was my travel to which I replied that I enjoyed the travel having the best of the food, in the best of the seat and having a quality conversation with another traveler.


In this way, not only I got out of the tiresome company of my companions, but got a birth without giving any money, really had the best meal of pantry, and got my work done with the shrewd TT that would surely had taught him a lesson.


After reaching home, when my parents asked me how the trip was, I said “All was well.”

Sunday, December 18, 2011

Blue Film Can Turn You Blue - KFC Fiery Tongue Sticky Situation


When I look back to my childhood days at my clandestine juvenile deeds, I laugh over them. This retrospection brings me to a conclusion, that I am equally scared of being caught at my surreptitious undertakings even today.
I am doubtful if Childhood is innocent but Children are undoubtedly curious.
So Behind the drape of this innocence one day we children decided to put an end to our curiosity.

I was in class nine when I and my two friends Mahak and Tamana were in the name of combined studies doing the Gtalk aka girls talk at my home on Sunday. After we were short of topics to discuss, which was the rarest of chance, Tamana interjected, “hey let me show you something girls” she said as she took out science book from her bag, flipped through its pages and picked up a CD between her thumb and fingers.

“Guess what’s in it?” she said rotating the disk.

“What?” I and Mahak said together.

“It’s a blue film” she said.

“What?” I said equally out of surprise and happiness.

“Yes” she said in self-appreciation.
“Where did you get this from?” Mahak asked with eyes wide open.

“Jatin gave me” she said. Jatin was our senior in school who Tamana was recently seeing.

“How is a blue film? What is exactly shown in it?” I asked innocently brimming with curiosity.

“I don’t know. I haven’t seen it yet. He has given this to me just today only.” She said.

“Can we watch it now?” asked Mahak looking at me.

I was floored. “Now? At my home?” I shouted in a low tone.

“Yes” she said.

“The computer is not working.” I said. By the way, it was actually not working.

“Oh!” both sighed in regret.

We all cooled down and looked back in our text books. The idea of watching a blue film was so fascinating to me that I myself was thinking of a way to watch it anyhow.

Apart from three of us only papa was at home. I heard him snoring and idea clicked my mind.

“I have an idea. We can watch it on TV.” I said to them.

“Really?” Tamana jumped out of the bed.

“I’ll bolt papa’s room and then we can watch it.” I said.

“Ok” they both agreed.

I went into papa’s room with cat feet to make sure that he was sleeping. I came out and bolted the door.

Things were peaceful now. It was now time to take feel of a movie. So I went into the kitchen and prepared “act 2” popcorns while they were busy starting the DVD. A bowl of popcorns, three glasses of cold drink and three friends on a couch; a perfect audience for a perfect movie! It was now time to press the play button.

“Ready gals” I said.

Bang! Bang!

“Open the door, open the door” papa was shouting from the room and banging the door hard.

“Papa” I jumped off the sofa with eyes wide open.

“Open the door” he was shouting from inside.

“Finish your cold drink quickly, switch off the TV. and take the popcorns in the room” I said to them with my teeth clenched. Now even cold drink could have been taken inside the room with popcorns but generally only half a mind works in such situations.

Papa’s appeal to open the door was getting louder and my heartbeat too.
Finally TV was off; glasses were in the kitchen and both of them in my room with pop-corns.

I unbolted the door.

“What was going on?” papa asked with his eyes red.

“Nothing papa” I said trying to be innocent.

“Why was my room bolted?” he asked.

“I don’t know” I said.

“It got bolted itself?” he said scoffing at it.

“Oh! Yes, I bolted it.” I said posing to memorise. “Actually I was getting chips from the kitchen and dishes were causing mayhem in the kitchen. I thought you might get disturbed by the sound, so I bolted.” I said not knowing if he’d be convinced by such a lame reason.

He looked at me but didn’t say anything. He walked and sat on the sofa.
“Put the TV on” he said.

I switched the TV on and saw that had we never turned the DVD player off.
“Oh! Why is this player on?” I said to myself loud enough for papa to know why I was bending down.

“Don’t turn it off. Let it be on. I’ll watch a movie” he said.

“Which movie papa? I’ll put the CD” I said like an obedient daughter.

“You go and study. I’ll see myself” he said as he got up.

“You sit papa, I’ll put it for you” I said.

“You go and study. I’ll manage” he said. He was standing at my head now.

Oh god! I got no idea what to do. I saw Mahak peeping from the door and having maths book in her hand.

“Papa, before you start the movie, we have a maths problem. Can you solve it?” I asked.

“Bring it.” He said.

“Mahak, give the book to papa” I said. Mahak looked blankly at me and stood stupefied.

“Mahak, papa will solve that problem of circles. Give him the book”

“Oh yes!” she finally understood. We walked to him and handed over the book.
“Pen? Paper?” he said.

“I’ll bring” I said.

I went inside the room and picked up a pen and notebook.

I deliberately took a long path to reach papa by crossing the TV stand. I dropped the notebook just near the TV. and I bent down to pick the notebook i.e. get the CD out the DVD player. As I was about to press the “open” button, the light went off.

No use of using the long way. I picked up the notebook and reached papa. While papa was explaining the question the electricity was back. The question was over and he relaxed on the couch putting his hands behind his head looking at the TV.

I held Mahak’s hand and made her walk to TV and I again dropped the notebook. It was repetitive but nothing else I could think off. We both bent down. Two people were enough to cover the DVD player so that papa can’t see what’s going on.

I quickly took out the CD.

“Keep it in the book” whispered Mahak.

“Shhh..” I said. I slid it inside my pullover tucking it to the waist of my jeans.
I knew my father. “Bring me the book.” He said. “I’ll tell you which the important questions are.”

Thank god we didn’t hide it in the book. I stood behind mahak so that papa doesn’t even make out anything hard on my belly.

The question was over.

And see the fun, His mood changed and now he was watching news.

We came back to the room and took a long sigh of relief.

“Keep your CD.” I threw the CD at Tamana who was sitting on my bed. “I will not even think of watching a blue film again. I have myself turned blue out of nervousness.”

She kept the CD back into her school bag. It was next day caught by our class teacher in school. What happened with her then is all together a different story.
 But after watching a blue film now I know watching people doing sex isn’t worth the fear I went through that day but…Doing is definitely worth it.