2(Too) Social 2(To) Social Media!

As the months turn into weeks and weeks turn into days, there is some kind of thinking that has started to take its rounds in my mind. Few more days and I am yet another year older. I will be 22 years on 10 Jan'13. :o

I am not sure if everyone undergoing this phase of their life experience the same, but this time, for me it is getting a bit tough to think that I am indeed getting old.

I have already started thinking "Rohit is getting old"! I now realise that there are younger people than me walking around on Mother Earth. A younger generation and already, there seems to be a generation gap between me and the young folks. Now, edging towards the later part of the glorious period of any individual, as I look back into my past and try to analyse all that has happened in this short span, I realise that there were times when I had been free of any worries or hassles. My only ones used to be to win a fight over my younger brother, getting a brand new PC from my dad, trying to achieve more in online gaming, become the super duper online gaming hero of school. Small things that used to mean a lot to me.

As I look at my long list of friends (Facebook says I have 1054 friends), I stop to wonder if I am really doing the right thing in having so many contacts or acquaintances. It seems as if there is some strange pair of eyes always following you. Now being a Social Media Marketing Executive at OML since past 7 months with social networking sites and the urge to notify your list of anything and everything that you do, I don’t think there is any privacy at all in one's life but yes it’s an essential ingredient for a better taste in modern life.

As I think about the role of friendships that have been a part of me and my life, I start to realise so many things. There have been people who have been selfish, who have not understood me. Those whom I had considered very close have betrayed me and gotten the better of me, just for the fact that I let them to, in the name of 'friendship'.

Some of them whom I have considered close to me haven't been the best as I believed them to be. And also, now I realise that those whom I have lost contacts with, are the ones whom I miss and will miss throughout the rest of my life. Those whom I dint have the slightest idea of getting to know have been the ones who have made me smile when I cried, who always stand behind me in my happiness and tough time.

At times, or rather, always, I wonder why I am into this career. Is this what I always wanted to be? What happened to all my childhood dreams? Those early morning dance practice, those big competitions, those dream of National performances, those funky dance teams, those beautiful ‘Shiamak Davar’ classes, those million memories that were washed ashore in this ocean of life. The dreams that meant so much to me had been brutally murdered and laid to wither. Not that I am not doing good in what I am doing now. But the sense of satisfaction is one that this life lacks in terms of career. Still I love my job, I enjoy it because I am at OML. Something which I always desired to do has been a dream and is going to stay a dream. To pursue the dream at this point of my life is gonna be tough (Not impossible) and sometimes even scary and that's the reason why somethings are better left unaccomplished.

There are so many things now that I have started to ponder upon. Things that have become opinionated, starting to analyse each and everything that I have done and will be doing. I realise there are so many limitations to my life and the way I want to live. I can’t take my own decisions and I can’t lead my own life. But I still have to live it.

I sometimes feel lonely and insecure. Even with the hundreds of loved voices that would always be more than willing to lend an ear to my woes. But the thought of talking to friends over the same things, moaning the same laments is something that I have started hating. As I think of all this and more, I badly want to relive my past, the past that is slowly and steadily drifting away from me. 

I know I have got the best of life (I am working in OML) and also the worst of life, as I try hard to figure the hidden meaning of this precious thing called LIFE. All I can tell myself is 'Everything happens for a reason' as I start gathering those lost little pieces of ME and finding the answer to ‘Nothing… is what I have done in my life’.
Rohit Rajpal

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